What we deserve

I have noticed so many times that we, as humans, love to point out what we think we deserve. We often feel a sense of entitlement. Someone owes us something. Someone should treat us a certain way.

I'm not sure if I've just noticed this theme so often through conviction, or through God laying it on my heart to share with others, but the most common theme I've noticed in the sermons I have listened to and the studies I have done point to this exact thing: our sense of feeling like we deserve more and better.

I would like to start by saying I am so guilty many times of having this mentality. I often give based on what I think others deserve. I have been striving to do better, but it can be so hard to let go of that entitlement and self-centeredness that has been engrained in us in a society that emphasizes "me, me, me".

How many times have you thought, "I'm not going to do ______ for my husband/wife/whatever relation because he/she hurt my feelings this morning. He/she doesn't deserve it."? Or better yet, "I deserve so much better than how he/she treats me," and even more common still "I will not forgive because he/she doesn't deserve it."

I will say probably pretty often. We are so quick to say we deserve better, and someone else isn't deserving enough. Wives are quick to withhold sex from husbands they deem undeserving, and husbands are quick to withhold affection and attention from wives they deem undeserving.

Now let's transition to what our Lord says concerning this. Apart from Christ, what do we deserve?

That's right....Hell. Eternal separation from God. Infinite agony. A very baptist phrase is a place of "weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Romans 3:23 assures us that we have all fallen short of His glory. We do not deserve heaven...in fact we can not get there on our own merit or based on what we have done.

In Isaiah it tells us that even at our most righteous times, we are no better than filthy rags...Rags that deserve to be disposed of.

Now, remember how we love to give out our grace, mercy, and love based on what we think others deserve? Is that what Christ did?

I thank God that He doesn't give me what I deserve. I thank God that even though I was a sinner who deserved to die and go to hell, that Jesus still took my place. Even though I have run from God, even though I have ignored Him, even though I fail Him daily, Jesus still chose to deliver me.

I hate to admit this, but even despite all that, I still sometimes fall into the thinking of, "Well I'm not God, it's too hard for me to let it go."

That's where prayer comes in. It's amazing how God can move in your life and your relationships if you will just allow Him. It takes a lot of humility to ask him to help you forget about what others deserve and just act mercifully and graciously towards them.

One verse that helps me in this time is 1 John 2:6. If we abide in Christ truly, then we WILL walk as Christ walked and act as Christ acted and love as Christ loved. Knowing that I am to be like Christ in all that I do helps me to pray for the desires of my heart. It helps me to ask Him to take away my selfishness and my entitlement. It causes me to dwell upon the fact that I have a gracious, merciful savior who has called me to be like Him.

God has forgiven our sins, though they outnumber any amount of wrong someone else could do to us, and yet He has been gracious to us. He has extended that forgiveness through Christ. Even though we DON'T deserve it.

A few weeks ago, I was able to be a part of such a wonderful, moving Sunday school lesson that has stayed on my mind ever since. It was about the prodigal son. Yes, I know you know the story. You've probably heard it a thousand times. But just go back and read it one more time. Let it sink in as you think about what we deserve.

How did the father react to the squandering, poor, wretched son coming home? Did he lecture him? Did he hold it over his head? Did he give the son what he deserved?

No.

He didn't.

He showed the level of grace and mercy we are called to show. He forgave his son before his son could even begin his apology. He rejoiced in his son coming home, and instead of cutting him out of the family, which the son would have deserved, he threw a celebration in his son's honor.

Now I know our lives look a little different than that. Our situations that require forgiveness come more in the form of marital problems, family issues, and hurt feelings among friends. We are just as bad when it comes to giving. If someone gave us a $20 gift card for a gift then we are most certainly not giving them a $50 gift card as a gift. We will give cold shoulders and silent treatment out like candy. All because we think that's what someone deserves.

This is why I pray that God change my heart in this area. I don't want to give people what they deserve. I want to give people what God gives, which is grace. He gives us grace upon grace upon grace. I want to look like Jesus, sound like Jesus, and walk like Jesus. I want that to be what my husband sees, my children see, and anyone I come in contact with sees.

Don't give what you think someone deserves, because if God gave you what you deserved you'd be in hell. I hate to be so blunt, but it is what it is. We deserve hell. Period.

Praise Jesus that we don't get what we deserve!

I have been chewing on all of these things for several weeks now, and I am still working on my mindset and the way my heart wants to do things based on what people deserve. I see this issue more in my marriage than anywhere else. It's so easy to get caught up in the blame game and decide that your spouse is unworthy. One of my favorite preachers points out in one of his sermons on this topic that when you show grace and mercy to your undeserving spouse, you are showing them Christ. They may not appreciate it or realize it at the time, but you are showing them the Gospel. You are doing your part in the marriage covenant. I so often want to think my husband is not doing his part in the marriage, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that I am doing what God has called me to do. Let us all strive every day to be like Christ!

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